Processing Things

I don’t know how. This is the answer to the question that I asked myself in the last month. I lost a friend of mine less than a month ago. Her passing was a shock to me and all that knew her. I went to her funeral and met some very nice friends of hers. I thought that the grieving process was almost over. I can start to remember the moments we shared when she was here on Earth. Then, three days later, another person that I knew and loved died. This one happened in my own family. How do I process two deaths of important people in my life in such a short time frame? This is where my answer from earlier kicked it. This is something that I never had happened to me before and I didn’t know how to deal with it. Every emotion in me is wrapped up so tightly that I cannot breathe. I realized that being a person during these situations is hard. From a perspective as a man, guys have been taught since almost from day one to be strong. Your emotions are held in check and you got to be the rock of the family or in general. I, for one, didn’t have a father in my life to show me how to be a man. I know others have had the same experience of having to be a man with no knowledge of how to be. I tried to work twice as hard to be that strong, reliable individual. So, with all that in mind, how do you cope with situations like this? I locked it down and tried to work it out on my own. I was in pain so much but kept it mostly under lock and key trying not to seem weak. I am supposed to be strong so I can handle this. Survey says…..X.  I realize now that this thinking will leave me broken down and alone in life. I took a few days away to try to come to grips with this. I really was crying out for help but at a small whisper. I urge people, men and women out there, not to go in emotional lock down mode. It doesn’t help at all and you should not have to. Connect with your faith and with the ones you love.  If you have someone to lean on, lean on them. I know that I can be strong and still show emotion when something affects me in life. It’s time to connect with others and breathe again.

Manners

I was sitting in the movie theater watching The Lone Ranger(I'll share my thoughts on that another time). The movie was almost over and the next thing I know, I started to see smoke. For a moment, I thought it was special effect done to make you get deeper in the movie experience. That particular thought quickly passed when I started to smell it too. This is when I notice where it was coming from. There was people in the middle of the theater smoking it up. Really? I am not a smoker but logic would tell you to...SMOKE BEFORE YOU GET INTO THE MOVIE!! Part of this goes back to my original post about how the home experience is affect the theater experience. Your home theater rules don't apply here. The other part of it is just plain and simple manners. We all live in the same world and should be considerate of others. I'm not telling folks that they can't smoke but be considerate enough to not to do it in a closed environment where little children or people with breathing problems might be around. 

My childhood friends

As a child, I was a "keep to myself" type of kid. I had few friends but the biggest one was the television. It gave me an outlet to be who I am and discover what I like. I love the fact that you had different shows from different eras in syndication. It gave me a variety of style to play around with. It also gave me a great appreciation of the history of television. One of the shows I discovered through that time was The Monkees. It was a show that I connected to right away. I was silly, goofy and had heart, just like me. I bonded to with each member of the band and the music that played throughout each episodes. Still, to this day, I have a special spot in my heart for the Monkees. I remember how sad I was when I found out that Davy Jones had passed away. It was like I lost a best friend. I had a chance to see them in concert before he passed and couldn't go. When I found out the Monkees (with the three remaining members) was touring and coming to town, I was so excited. It was a childhood dream come true. I got to meet Mickey Dolenz before at MegaCon(a comic book/scifi/anime convention) in Orlando and he was pretty awesome. Now, I would be able to see the group live. When I got to the concert, it reminded me of a comic book convention. There was so many different people from different walks of life there united with a common bond. I met some very cool people, from the merchant counter to outside the concert hall. There was these two sisters that was there that had brought Monkees bobble heads to get signed. They got Davy to sign it from the concert before. I was so awesome when they let me take a picture with the bobble heads. It's my official picture with the band. The concert was great. The fact that the songs that I have been singing forever I get to see perform on stage was a great thrill to me. It got to see the one video that I always thought was amazing. It was a number from the movie Head where Davy was dancing with Toni Basil. I thought that segment was one of the best edited scenes I've ever seen. I got to sit next to one guy during the concert who was there with his wife(both were cool). The group brought an audience member on stage and announced that the song Daydream Believer belongs to the audience to sing. When everyone in the audience sung the song, it was electricity in the air. It was so emotional that both me and the husband sitting next to me both cried. I will always remember that moment and that night. We were too busy singing to put anybody down.