I don’t know how. This is the answer to the question that I asked
myself in the last month. I lost a friend of mine less than a month ago. Her
passing was a shock to me and all that knew her. I went to her funeral and met
some very nice friends of hers. I thought that the grieving process was almost
over. I can start to remember the moments we shared when she was here on Earth.
Then, three days later, another person that I knew and loved died. This one happened
in my own family. How do I process two deaths of important people in my life in such a short time frame? This
is where my answer from earlier kicked it. This is something that I never had
happened to me before and I didn’t know how to deal with it. Every emotion in me is
wrapped up so tightly that I cannot breathe. I realized that being a person during
these situations is hard. From a perspective as a man, guys have been taught
since almost from day one to be strong. Your emotions are held in check and you
got to be the rock of the family or in general. I, for one, didn’t have a
father in my life to show me how to be a man. I know others have had the same
experience of having to be a man with no knowledge of how to be. I tried to work twice as hard to be that strong, reliable individual. So, with all
that in mind, how do you cope with situations like this? I locked it down
and tried to work it out on my own. I was in pain so much but kept it mostly under
lock and key trying not to seem weak. I am supposed to be strong so I can
handle this. Survey says…..X. I realize
now that this thinking will leave me broken down and alone in life. I took a few
days away to try to come to grips with this. I really was crying out for help
but at a small whisper. I urge people, men and women out there, not to go in
emotional lock down mode. It doesn’t help at all and you should not have to. Connect
with your faith and with the ones you love. If you have someone to lean on, lean on them. I
know that I can be strong and still show emotion when something affects me in
life. It’s time to connect with others and breathe again.
