Processing Things

I don’t know how. This is the answer to the question that I asked myself in the last month. I lost a friend of mine less than a month ago. Her passing was a shock to me and all that knew her. I went to her funeral and met some very nice friends of hers. I thought that the grieving process was almost over. I can start to remember the moments we shared when she was here on Earth. Then, three days later, another person that I knew and loved died. This one happened in my own family. How do I process two deaths of important people in my life in such a short time frame? This is where my answer from earlier kicked it. This is something that I never had happened to me before and I didn’t know how to deal with it. Every emotion in me is wrapped up so tightly that I cannot breathe. I realized that being a person during these situations is hard. From a perspective as a man, guys have been taught since almost from day one to be strong. Your emotions are held in check and you got to be the rock of the family or in general. I, for one, didn’t have a father in my life to show me how to be a man. I know others have had the same experience of having to be a man with no knowledge of how to be. I tried to work twice as hard to be that strong, reliable individual. So, with all that in mind, how do you cope with situations like this? I locked it down and tried to work it out on my own. I was in pain so much but kept it mostly under lock and key trying not to seem weak. I am supposed to be strong so I can handle this. Survey says…..X.  I realize now that this thinking will leave me broken down and alone in life. I took a few days away to try to come to grips with this. I really was crying out for help but at a small whisper. I urge people, men and women out there, not to go in emotional lock down mode. It doesn’t help at all and you should not have to. Connect with your faith and with the ones you love.  If you have someone to lean on, lean on them. I know that I can be strong and still show emotion when something affects me in life. It’s time to connect with others and breathe again.

Manners

I was sitting in the movie theater watching The Lone Ranger(I'll share my thoughts on that another time). The movie was almost over and the next thing I know, I started to see smoke. For a moment, I thought it was special effect done to make you get deeper in the movie experience. That particular thought quickly passed when I started to smell it too. This is when I notice where it was coming from. There was people in the middle of the theater smoking it up. Really? I am not a smoker but logic would tell you to...SMOKE BEFORE YOU GET INTO THE MOVIE!! Part of this goes back to my original post about how the home experience is affect the theater experience. Your home theater rules don't apply here. The other part of it is just plain and simple manners. We all live in the same world and should be considerate of others. I'm not telling folks that they can't smoke but be considerate enough to not to do it in a closed environment where little children or people with breathing problems might be around. 

My childhood friends

As a child, I was a "keep to myself" type of kid. I had few friends but the biggest one was the television. It gave me an outlet to be who I am and discover what I like. I love the fact that you had different shows from different eras in syndication. It gave me a variety of style to play around with. It also gave me a great appreciation of the history of television. One of the shows I discovered through that time was The Monkees. It was a show that I connected to right away. I was silly, goofy and had heart, just like me. I bonded to with each member of the band and the music that played throughout each episodes. Still, to this day, I have a special spot in my heart for the Monkees. I remember how sad I was when I found out that Davy Jones had passed away. It was like I lost a best friend. I had a chance to see them in concert before he passed and couldn't go. When I found out the Monkees (with the three remaining members) was touring and coming to town, I was so excited. It was a childhood dream come true. I got to meet Mickey Dolenz before at MegaCon(a comic book/scifi/anime convention) in Orlando and he was pretty awesome. Now, I would be able to see the group live. When I got to the concert, it reminded me of a comic book convention. There was so many different people from different walks of life there united with a common bond. I met some very cool people, from the merchant counter to outside the concert hall. There was these two sisters that was there that had brought Monkees bobble heads to get signed. They got Davy to sign it from the concert before. I was so awesome when they let me take a picture with the bobble heads. It's my official picture with the band. The concert was great. The fact that the songs that I have been singing forever I get to see perform on stage was a great thrill to me. It got to see the one video that I always thought was amazing. It was a number from the movie Head where Davy was dancing with Toni Basil. I thought that segment was one of the best edited scenes I've ever seen. I got to sit next to one guy during the concert who was there with his wife(both were cool). The group brought an audience member on stage and announced that the song Daydream Believer belongs to the audience to sing. When everyone in the audience sung the song, it was electricity in the air. It was so emotional that both me and the husband sitting next to me both cried. I will always remember that moment and that night. We were too busy singing to put anybody down.

Letting it go

I got chastised by an older gentleman in a newer model SVU yesterday. I'm the one that was in the wrong in his eyes. Here's the recap:
I put on my turn signal to get in the far right lane. This polite gentleman decided to speed up and not let me over. Luckily, for that situation, the lane I was in was a turning lane as well. So, after calming down off my fifteen seconds rage moment, I zoomed into my lane to get clear on that guy and focus on driving to get to work. When traffic came to a complete stop, that same gentleman decided to tell me from his vehicle that I cut him off in traffic. I laughed in my head knowing that I wanted nothing to do with the man. I decided to tell him the exact truth of the situation(basically what I mentioned here), which some would say is my first mistake. Then, the passenger in my vehicle injected in a no so nice way to the guy. The gentleman's last response to me is that "ya'll are all the same". 

First, don't pigeonhole me in a category when you know me briefly from a traffic encounter. I don't know necessarily what he meant by saying "ya'll".  It would not have been nice for me to say that "ya'll older gentlemen in Kangol hats that drives SVU's are all the same". First of all, let it go and focus on the road (I did after fifteen seconds). Second, if you can't let it go and you gotta say something, be original, funny and/or specific. You could say "hey buddy, where did you learn to drive, at an amusement park?" or the classic "Did you get your license from, a Cracker Jack box"? See, no only did you let it linger for too long but you also put out something that was uninspired. Very lame, sir. I've let it go now.

A viewpoint

I just finished reading a post on social media when someone interject race into the tragedy that happened with the school shooting yesterday. I posted a comment to this and I wanted to share it with you all.

You see that some people focus on the wrong thing. You can't let things and people breathe. People just lost their children, family members and friends due to this tragedy and you have the nerves to talk about race. You don't know the makeup of those kids and it shouldn't matter. The topic is violence and the question is how to stop so many of these acts from happening. It's time to wake up from a negative place in this world and start talking about how to positively change it. We are all people and it is time we start acting like we care about all people.

It's time for me to say something

On Friday, a terrible tragedy happened in Colorado that resulted in twelve people dead and many more injured.  As this news settled in, I had several thoughts that I need to share. First of all, my thoughts and prayers goes out to the victims and their families. No one, I mean no one, should have to go through something that horrific.

As a comic book and movie geek,  I understand completely of the feel of going to a midnight showing of a comic book movie. It's like a mini comic book convention. You get to gather in one place with people that has the same interest as you. You get to see people dress up as their favorite character on that showing as well. To have that bond and shared enjoyment severed by a madman bent on death and destruction is unfathomable and heartbreaking. I, myself, went to the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises and enjoyed myself. When I woke up to this news, I put myself in their shoes. What if that had happened to my midnight showing. I think everyone had that thought in some way. Regardless if you're a fanboy/fangirl or not, that core group that went to see that movie represented the diversity that makes our country great. The melting pot that the United States was formed on was there that night, no matter what color, age or religion. You knew somebody in your life that could have been in that theater.

We get so separated in life that we fail to see, hear and connect with one another. A simple conversation turns out to be an all out brawl with people sometimes. We have to get back to the days of open conversations with people in this world. While no one agrees on everything, we can discuss things and still find common ground. I, for instance, am not a big fan of guns. I agree with the main reason of why some people want a gun: to be safe. There is a way to have talks about gun "common sense". The word control just puts people in defense mode and does neither side any good. We do not want tragedies like this to continue. I am sad and heartbroken about what happened in that movie theater that night. The thing that gives me hope is the gathering of these different people in one place for one cause. Also,by the love and support that flows to those in that theater from their families and strangers they never knew. I, for one,will strive to keep the heart of their mini convention going safely so we can still believe in the superheroes in all of us.

P.S. Remember to say something nice to a person today. We all can use light in a dark day.

A moment to remember

I had to stop to reflect on something this week.

 In 1997, I was working at Blockbuster Music at the Brandon Town Center. This particular day, I noticed a customer come in on crutches. I've had to do the crutches thing before and I know it's no fun. So, I go to greet that customer and see if he needed any help. I remembered that he was looking for some CD's to add to his collection. It took me a minute to noticed that I was helping out a celebrity. Then I asked :
"Are you Dwayne Schintzius?"
"Yes I am", he responded back.
I was so excited. I followed Dwayne Schintzius even since his time at The University of Florida. Granted, some of those times made me cry as a Florida State fan. Regardless, when I thought of the top centers in the state(since I started watching basketball), his name was high on that list. 

I asked him a bunch of questions while I helped him pick out some music. It ranged from his playing time to his role in the movie "Eddie" with Whoopi Goldberg. The conversation was less like a star and his star struck fan. It was more like two people hanging out and just talking. I think I helped him for maybe 15-20 minutes. He left an impression on me on that day. You can be famous/talented and still be down to earth. It also reminded me that we all can connected to each other in some way. When I heard his name since that day, I always smiled and thought "He is a down to earth, cool guy". When I found out one of my friend was married to his brother, I said that is so awesome. So, when I found out through my friend that Dwayne had passed away(on April 15), I stopped and I cried. Even though I had one conversation with him, I knew what type of person he was. I hope that, in writing this, I can add this story among the others to remember him by.

RIP